Christianity Composted.
So it’s been a good 9 months since I ‘came out’ to some folks and officially it was game over between me and the big man. I use the term with affection. I still harbour some underlying affectionate feelings towards God. (I was talking about God before, by the way, when I said ‘coming out’. I am, as far as I am aware, still on the straight-and-narrow, as it were, sexually. Ahem.) But affection like that most people feel towards Santa, Peter Pan or Narnia – that you know it doesn’t exist but you can entertain the idea and feel that if it did you might be happy about it.
But most of the time I am glad that he does not. I don’t think it is overall a good thing, God that is. I think nice people make for themselves nice Gods and not-so-nice people create not-so-nice Gods.
Anyway, I’ve had a good amount of time to digest (or maybe ‘compost’, yeh I like that. *quickly changes blog title*) everything down and feel it would be beneficial that I attempt to pick out a few bones from the pile.
Here are some random statements on my non-belief.
- I no longer believe in God.
- I feel that is a good thing overall. That truth is preferable to lies etc.
- I don’t feel sad about it. Quite liberated actually. (I’ve got a shed-load of Christian terminology I could use but it would feel like plagiarism. Oddly.)
- I do not claim to be Humanist or Materialist or much anything else – although those terms do have some resonance with me.
- ‘Skeptic’ – fits better but is more a position than a belief system.
- I do not feel superior to people who still believe. But I do think they are wrong.
- I am sympathetic (that is non-patronising, seriously) to belief in God.
- I feel the discussion is not finished or closed but also feel confident in my non-belief.
- If you have something interesting to say on the subject of belief I would be more than happy to have a wee chat.
- I have considered active/evangelistic atheism – Hey, I did active/evangelistic Christianity, so why not?
- Do I think it is my duty to try to talk to or de-convert my Christian friends/family? No, not particularly. But I’m not sure why not.
- Do I think my beliefs will affect my relationships with Christians? (When did this become a Q&A?) Yes, some but not all. I am not closing any doors on people and as I said, I am sympathetic to belief and open to discussion. But some friendships have a strong element of ‘spiritual brotherhood’ to them and I think the divorce will be hard to take for some people. Others are just a little less interested than they were before, which is fine. Others, seem intimidated or personally offended. Those relationships will be affected. I appreciate any that aren’t.
- (I’ll drop the Q&A) I would say that I have felt a little uncomfortable in the past on the expected moral stance of Christianity and that by jettisoning the additional weight of an ancient text I have been able to reshape my thinking on many of them such as; Homosexuality, Marriage, Sex etc. I am not necessarily jumping on the mainstream bandwagon on those issues mind.
- I think I have a more moral and ethical outlook now than I had before. Shocker!
- I still have some questions that remain and that need to be worked through in light of my non-belief.
- Marriage. I had a religious ceremony, I made religious vows, even shoehorned a god bit into my speech. I got married under the gaze of God, primarily. So does non-belief change my view on my marriage? Yes. But that doesn’t necessarily diminish it.
- I feel sad that other people feel sad for me/about me. My Dad feels it a lot. That’s a shame. I feel very positive and my field of vision has been opened right up and I now wonder at things I didn’t even consider before. But I understand his feelings.
I’ve had a good old think over the past months and I have some ideas on what contributed to me ceasing to believe. For now I’ll leave them for another day. Or we could even discuss them in person over a pint. That’d be nice…
